02.09 - Emotional Errors

     It was late when Jasper got back to the apartment, but not so much that he found reason to worry over Espy’s absence. He knew that she had known O’Sama for quite a long time and suspected the two were reminiscing the night away. Besides, she was a ‘big girl’, much older than he and very able to take care of herself.
     He fixed a little dinner, checked in on Rika and found her working, and afterward decided to catch a nap in Espy’s room. He figured they could compare notes when she came in. On impulse he tried to call Janus. The comm. rang several times and then hung itself up; Janus’ usual method of telling others he was out at some kind of work. Jasper closed the unit and tossed it on the nightstand. He knew the machine had taken his number and that the blueskin would call back as soon as he could.
     Having nothing better to do, he kicked off his boots and hit the timer on the bedside lamp. In the space of a few minutes he was asleep, lulled into slumber listening to the rhythm of Rika’s keyboard in the next room.

     “Because He is not him.”  The words echoed in the darkness, over and over. Jasper heard the speaker, knew who he was, but could not recall the name. Again he was in a hurry to get somewhere, and now he knew where, but no matter where he turned he couldn’t find the path to where he needed to be.
     Looking down through the dark, he saw a repeating blur of sodium yellow, the flash of reflected streetlights on the swirling chrome of his wheels. Sometimes he heard a keyboard tapping; was Rika riding with him, or he with her? He couldn’t quite tell, that damn voice always covering the little sounds that would give him background.
     “Because He is not him … Because He is not him … Because …”
     “Who the Hell is He then!!!” Jasper screamed the question to the blackness, which only echoed his words back to him. The sense of motion quit; he wasn’t getting to The Tree today. The echoes stopped and he sighed in the quiet, turning a circle seeking … what? “At least that old junk man shut up.” That’s whom the voice belonged to … that O’Sama. Someone else speaking behind him interrupted his musings.
     “That he did.”
     Jasper whirled, pistol drawn and ready to fire. Doc just laughed and pointed his finger. “Bang!” The raconid was left holding a rose, petals fading fast and cascading from his open hand in a blood red shower. Silver eyes narrowed.
     “You never did care for guns.”
     “No boy, and I still don’ think much of them. Only one fellow going to take Him down, and it aint gonna be you.”
     Eyes rolling, Jasper threw up his hands. “Fine! Why don’t I just give up then, and save the Betrayer a lot of bother.”
     Lightning rolled across the sky, and tall pillars of black boiled up on a suddenly visible horizon. The red headed man’s eyes narrowed. “Boy, you ever gonna learn when to keep your mouth shut? If ya don’t start thinkin’ before ya speak, you’re gonna find yourself in a fix that little gal o’ yours aint gonna be able to get you out of.”
     The raconid’s lip curled. “O’Sama, Bart, and you too! If somebody doesn’t start talking straight to me I’m going to go shit crazy! Hell, I’m arguing with a dead man! I’m already there!” It was Doc’s turn to roll his eyes, as Jasper’s anger turned to laughter. “All that thinking hurts my head. I want some fucking action!”
     “Tell her you love her.”
     Jasper jerked like he’d been slapped again. “What?!”
     Doc just laughed, slapping his legs in the depth of his humor. “Why is it boy that the one thing you over think is the one thing you shouldn’t have to?” His laughing expression faded into a deep sorrow. “Take it from me buddy, you only get so many chances to tell them, and you done lost one o’ yours.”
     Silver eyes blinked. “But … I tried. I tried damn it!”
     “You didn’t try nothin’ boy! Aint a woman in the world that won’t close her mouth to hear those words. She might not believe you, but she’ll listen. Take my advice and try it sometime, and you’ll see. Just don’t wait forever boy; you aint got too much time left.”
     Jasper looked at his old friend carefully, face hardening in grim determination. “How much worse is it going to get Doc? How much worse?”
     In answer the red haired man stood up and motioned across the ground. “Come over here and look.”
     “Huh?” The raconid stood and took a look across the plain. He would have sworn there was nothing to see but the ever-climbing clouds on the horizon. And turning back he found his friend gone. “Doc? Doc? Where did you go?” He walked over to where the man had been standing and found a hole in the ground, darkness leading down to some unknown location. At the bottom it seemed to open; he could see past a square yellow framed hole into a space where emergency lights flashed. A shadow of movement just out of sight left him no doubt that something dangerous waited beneath.
     He called again. “Doc?”
     The voice behind surprised him a little, but the slap to his back caught him totally unprepared. He slipped and fell headfirst into the hole, cursing at the top of his lungs. Despite his yelling, he heard the red headed man’s reply clearly.
     “Don’t let her fall next time boy! Catch her, don’t let her fall.”
     “Damn you bastard! Doc …” Jasper felt his cry of anger pulled from him, stretched into echoes as he fell through the darkness into the flashing light. The strobing yellow glare was accompanied by the wail of Enforcer sirens; he twisted to avoid the thing lunging from the shadows below …

     It was a move long practiced now; the twist and lunge to bat at the wailing alarm with the palm of his hand. With a stifled cry and groan of relief he rolled the rest of the way on his back and willed his heart back to its regular rhythm. The bed shook a little; it took him a few moments to still his quivering and place the repetitive clicking that had accompanied the shake as Rika, still working through the dark hours.
     A dream, he decided, but then he frowned. The bed beside him was cold. He grimaced at the taste in his mouth and turned back to the clock. It was after two in the morning. “Espy?” His soft call fell to nothing, and with no answer forth coming he slid out of the bed and padded out into the hall. There were no lights on save the one behind him; he looked through Rika’s door and frowned. There came no call in answer to his presence, but the continued clicking told him Rika was at least awake.
     In the back of his mind something nagged insistently. Where was she? Still … He went into the kitchen and stopped at the fridge to rummage up a drink. The light of the box was enough to confirm what he already knew: Espy wasn’t in the living room. He shrugged and returned to the bedrooms, stepping in Rika’s room and hitting the light switch. The overheads came on showing what he expected. Rika was busily attending to her work and Espy wasn’t home.
     He waited, needing to get her attention but reluctant to disturb the hacker. She kept on working, oblivious to his presence, and finally he sighed. He thought a moment and then went to the tower closest to her chair. There were several little trinkets atop it; he plucked up the carved rose and carried it over to her primary camera.
     “Ignore this, …” he said aloud, and with one more glance in her direction he placed the piece in front of the camera mount. After that he went back into the living room to wait for Espy. With nothing better to do and no desire to return to sleep he turned on the vid screen.
     There wasn’t much worth watching in the late hour. Most channels had advertisements and the few special interest ones still showing programming had rerun episodes that had nothing to offer him. He was flipping through stations out of bored habit when he struck the news bots and his world turned upside down.
     “…still in an uproar over the apparent robbery. Locals call this building Mein O’Sama’s, and as you can see it is still on fire despite city maintenance’s attempts to extinguish it.
     Enforcer Services released this video clip of the prime suspect just moments after the fire broke out. It appears to show what Enforcer Command believes to be a Lir, armed with mono-blade implants. Corporal Dartsmouth was cleared for an interview only an hour ago, and he told the following to reporters on the scene.”
     The shot shifted to an earlier hour; the street was well lit by the conflagration and quite a crowd had gathered behind the Enforcer trooper before the camera. The man had his arm in a sling and stood in such a way that Jasper could tell he had been shot. He was either off duty or sloppy; a pair of non-regulation shades dangled from his uniform, still creased and pressed despite a day’s patrol. There was no doubt; the news report kept interspersing silent footage of Espy rolling out of the building, attacking the troopers before escaping on her bike.
     “I was just coming down the walk from the corner there when I heard gunshots. It sounded to me like they’d come from inside the junk shop. I pulled my piece and we just came up to have a look when that lizard rolled out the door. We yelled for it to stop and it just grabbed me, used me as a shield and then lashed my partner in the face. We couldn’t fire what for the people but it didn’t care; you can see where it hit the sign over there.
     My partners went after it; I went in the shop to see what had happened. I could see immediately there had been a robbery. The lizard had probably botched it; I think the old man walked out and surprised it. You could see he had tried to turn and get away but come on; he was an old man and couldn’t move so fast. That lizard just gunned him down from behind.
     The fire? Already started when I looked in. It was bad enough, and injured like this, I couldn’t haul the old man out. Yes, it’s a real tragedy. The brass thinks this lizard is a Lir we’ve been looking for and I agree. Look at that sled-film. You haven’t ever seen a creature move that fast; can’t even see the pistol she was shooting…”
     Jasper was in the back bedroom before he knew he’d gotten up. He went straight to Rika and grabbed her hands. The speakers squealed in electronic outrage but he wasn’t listening. Instead he was shouting, yanking the keyboard out of her reach. “Rika! Damn it where is Espy? Get out of the ether and answer me! Tell me she’s called; tell me you know where she is. Rika!”
     The electric squeal rolled into a vocal signal, still flat despite her sure anger over the hazardous interruption. Jasper what are you doing? Give me back my keyboard Jasper. What are you shouting about Jasper? I cannot understand you Jasper.
     “Open your ears! Where the hell is Espy?”
     Calm down Jasper. I do not know where Espy is Jasper.
     “She hasn’t called in? Rika shut whatever you’re doing down and find a news channel. Search the Enforcer comm. bands! Look for…”
     Jasper I am working right now. Espy can take care of Espy Jasper. Why can this not wait until…
     Her vocal channel cut to dead silence. If she had looked through her secondary cameras she would have seen him hunched and bristling, tail bottled out. He had climbed onto her lap, onto the footboards of her chair and slapped her, the hard open handed strike rocking her whole body to the side. A human would have shown an instant bruise; slumped partially over the arm of her chair she showed no expression. He could not tell if he had reached her or not.
     The chair tilted toward the front, straining to center itself under his additional weight. Still silence reigned over the room, and then he saw her jaw clench. He was growling even before her words had stopped.
     That hurt Jasper.
     “Good! Listen to me Rika. Listen good damnit! The Enforcers tried jumping Espy. Where is she?”
     Jasper it is only… Monitor screens started flashing on as Rika suddenly noticed the time. Jasper I did not know how late it was. I have been on coding runs for seven hours sixteen minutes and forty-one seconds.
     She was slowly shifting upright, hands still reaching for her keyboard. Jasper smoothed his hackles only with difficulty, managing to push the deck back to her while watching the flickering screens. He did not trust himself to speak yet her silence was maddening. He finally growled to her, “Well?”
     Espy called me looking for an escape route, saying that she had run into Enforcer trouble and that an agent had killed O’Sama Jasper. Espy was already into a bad area, chased on live news and I told Espy that she would have to lose the motorcycle. I am sorry Jasper but I thought that Espy would have returned before now.
     “What?! Why the hell didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you send me a message?”
     Jasper I am sorry but I did not think of doing so because Espy has always taken care of herself and…
     This time an electric whine and crackle of sparks interrupted the monotone reply. Jasper had lashed out at one of her towers in his rage. “It’s a hell of a lot different Rika! What if they caught her? Where is she damn it? Where did you send her? I’m going to go hunt for her!”
     No. “No!”
     He turned on his heel staring at the hacker in a kind of shock. To hear her speak so, hoarse as she was, a split second after her computerized cry, snapped him momentarily out of anger. He couldn’t find the question he wanted to ask.
     If you go there the Enforcer troops will identify and capture you Jasper. Give me a chance to locate Espy Jasper. Give me a chance to look for Espy and I will find her Jasper. I promise you that I will.
     “Rika how long has it been since you heard from her? I can’t just sit here, I have to do something.”
     Jasper it has been five hours and thirty-three minutes since I received Espy’s distress call. I am now scanning Enforcer channels and I can say for certain that the Enforcers do not have Espy.
     “You’re certain? How do we find her? God Rika, what if she’s hurt?”
     Jasper I cannot tell you where she is until I look for her. Please do not do something rash Jasper. If you go out like this the Enforcers will capture you for certain. And do not turn the news on Jasper. The news bots are telling what the Enforcers tell the news bots to say.
     “Rika, I need to know something damn it! I need …” One of the monitors flashed, a speaker buzzing to the tune of an incoming comm. call. Jasper turned frantically searching for a comm. unit without success, but Rika fed the call through her systems, in effect answering it. Upon hearing the connection open Jasper cried out, “Espy?”
     “No fellow it’s me. You gave me a buzz earlier?”
     “Oh hell, Shrike. You haven’t heard from Espy have you?”
     The blue skin heard the disappointment and worry across the air. “No Jasp, I’m sorry to say she hasn’t called here. Problem?”
     “You anywhere near a vid screen?” When Janus said that he wasn’t, the raconid gave him a run down on what he’d seen on the news channel. He finished by asking for help. “I know it’s late, but could you spread the word? Tell your people to give us a shout if anyone has seen her? Rika’s looking but says the troops don’t have her.”
     “Hey, my people are your people. You stick there with your girl so we know where you’re at, and I’ll call you the minute I know something.”
     “Yeah, damn, okay.” Janus killed the connection and Jasper started pacing in the limited space by the bed before throwing his clenched fist in the air. “Damn. I was going to tell him about Renslip.”
     Jasper?
     He turned. “Yes?”
     Did you put my rose in front of my main camera Jasper?
     “Huh? Oh! Heh, yes. I was trying to get your attention earlier. I’m sorry Rika, I’ll put it back.”
     Jasper it is okay that you moved my rose. It is not what gives me concern right now Jasper. I could not tell from my secondary cameras but I think that you are bleeding Jasper.
     “What?” He looked down to find a trickle of red flowing from the fingers of his right hand. There was a gash across his knuckles that he’d not felt, and the crimson droplets spattered the carpet and bedspread like so many rose petals. That they still fell sparkling in the white light of her monitors did not matter; he looked guiltily toward the tower he’d broken, and up to her expressionless face that he knew should have a hellish bruise.
     It hit him. “Bang.”
     Bang Jasper?
     He couldn’t tell her. He wasn’t that mean.
     He wasn’t that brave.

     Janus Shrither whistled sharply as he closed his comm. unit. The woman next to him asked, “Problem?”
     “The sec tech. Looks like she’s bit off more than she could chew. Hacker says the Feds don’t have her, and the pup’s fit to chew his way through walls.”
     “Jasper?”
     “Yeah, him.” Shrike caught his companion’s look and gave a sharp laugh. “Hey, I’ve been spending a lot of time with them. I don’t want you guys thinking you’ve been replaced.”
     Bare blue skin shifted from under synth-silk sheets. She brushed a hand over his chest with a coy smile. “Like that’s going to happen here …”

     Janus C. Shrither had a problem and he knew it. He was literally sitting on Pandora’s box. To open it up or to leave it be? He had spent the day pondering the possibilities. An actual portal code, a doorway to another world, without warning or direction; something sensitive enough to be secreted away into Pulse files, but set for deletion … what was it? What could it be?
     Himself, his sometime mate Thera, Clyde, and the three or four others he could summon from his inner circle; these were the people he would risk by opening the portal. He had yet to even consult them, Clyde wouldn’t care, but Thera … he hated the thought of putting her in the possible danger.
     What his new teammates would say, he had little doubt. Jasper was all for trashing the Federal drug trade; he had an especial axe to grind with the deadly Blood and it’s producer. But to open the portals, even one at a time, on nothing more than a string code and a whim? No, he wouldn’t go in for that.
     And Espy … Janus couldn’t see the hard-nosed security girl considering the risk at all. But he just couldn’t let the idea go. What could be found on the other end of that hidden string? The more he thought on it, the more undecided he became.
     Once again seated at his old teaching desk, he pushed aside piles of hard copy and slid back in his chair defeated. He sighed, only to shift straight up at the hands that suddenly started working the knots in his neck and shoulders. “What is it?” She asked.
     “I … I’m not sure.”
     She squeezed a little harder at his hesitation. “Hey, I thought you said you’d never keep secrets. I mean, if you just don’t want to tell me …”
     “No, it isn’t that. Thera, you know, all of my life since I left teaching, has been spent looking for ways to expose them. To shut the Feds down and take our lives back … it’s all I’ve had my eye on. And now it’s starting to come together, and I’m …”
     “Not in control anymore?” The blue skinned woman laughed and leaned over, kissing his forehead. “What is it Shrike? Are you scared you’ve lost control of the movement, or upset it wasn’t one of your students that replaced you?”
     He grunted and laughed. “Ah Thera, you know me too well. But no. It isn’t that. Jasper’s hacker gave me a portal code. I can’t decide what to do with it.”
     She gasped and moved around his side, pulling his chair around so they were facing each other. “A portal code? Are you sure? Which … where … what does it open? Where will it take us?”
     He smiled and took her hands. “Us? I don’t know; it’s a blind code. It could go anywhere, straight into the jaws of death. I’m not sure I want to risk you being there.” She made to protest and he put a finger to her lips. “No. Who knows what might happen? It might not even work. But I don’t want to go anywhere now. We’ve taken the lid off of some pretty nasty secrets. Those two are going to dump the boxful and I want to be along for the ride.”
     “And I want to be there with you. So what is the problem?” He smiled and kissed her; she melted into his lap and threw her arm around his neck. “That’s not an answer.”
     “I know. I just wish I knew what to do. What if there’s some massive weapon, a secret they don’t want coming out? How much could we do for the cause by opening that door? How much trouble could we cause for ourselves if it’s dangerous?”
     “Good questions. You’ll never know if you leave it be.”
     “Ha. And if it’s bad?”
     “You want to go it alone?”
     “I don’t want you to suffer for my foolishness.”
     She gave him a smile that showed straight white teeth. “Then in that case, you’d better get your act and your team together. Because I won’t sit here and watch you think yourself stupid about it, and you damn sure won’t be leaving me behind.”
     “And if opening it turns out to be the wrong thing to do?”
     “Nothing ventured, nothing gained. We’ve cleaned up your messes before honey. We’ll do it again.”

     He made some calls; his people knew people and they’d be in touch. No one seemed to know where Espy had gotten. She was all over the news as the ‘new rogue Lir.’ Talking with a network hacker, they had a laugh at the Federal accusation. But privately he had to wonder. What exactly was the lizard girl? The majority of suspects that she could claim as her species had come and gone years ago. It was just one more reason not to mention the portal to her. If she really were one of the last Lir to fight the Federals, she would likely skin him alive for making the suggestion.
     With that done, there was only one thing left on his agenda. He rounded up his people and set out to tempt fate.

     Janus and Thera parked their motorcycles inside the alley side by side. There were no security tethers; the bikes were simply left pointing nose out for a quick get away. Security was managed by parking the heavy ground car in the alley mouth. The fit was so tight that Clyde had to climb through the roof hatch to get out; there was barely room for the human data tech to slide by the doors.
     “Where are we going again?” The hacker had never been down the back alley entrance to that particular hide out.
     Thera checked her tool kit and answered with a suppressed sigh. “Ian, how many times do I have to say it? We get to the portal, then we don’t know.”
     The other human in the group caught his medi kit from the burly Troll still climbing from the car and laughed. “Ian’s afraid of fairy tales Thera. It ain’t his fault he’s scared because he can’t hide behind his terminal.”
     “Shut your mouth Gabe. What the hell am I gonna do, give you a body to practice on?”
     “Both of you knock it off. Ian, get your portable from Clyde before he breaks it. Gabe, you armed? Good. Hitch your crap and move out. Clyde, you’re on point. Don’t fire that cannon till Gabe tells you to.”
     “Yes boss.” The big troll slung his anti-tank rifle over his shoulder as though it were a child’s toy, nearly clipping the medic’s head.
     “Hey! Watch it lug!” Gabe backed up a pace grumbling before taking off at a double trot to keep up with Clyde’s lumbering pace.
     “Do you think we’ll be hunting monsters?”
     Janus looked up from his own weapons check. “I’d rather be safe than sorry. Ian? That porta-deck good to go?” The hacker nodded, mumbling about not knowing what good it would do. The blue skinned leader answered. “We don’t know what we might need. It’s possible nothing will happen. Just … be ready for anything.”
     The walk through the dark alley to the T-junction took fifteen minutes. Clyde had sprawled in the middle of the hall, belly down and rifle sighted on the floating frame in the circular chamber. Gabe was crouching a few paces behind the big troll. Thera and Janus slipped into the room, stepping lightly past their prone companion. Their hacker escort followed less careful, wide eyed in disbelief.
     “This? Oh my God, it’s real! How does it do that?”
     Thera answered with a light laugh, but Janus wave his hand and cut her short. “We’re not here for a joke. Ian, I know your options are limited, but scan it.”
     “Scan it? For what?” He sounded incredulous, but there was no hesitation as he started unpacking his mobile terminal.
     “Anything. Everything. I don’t know.” Thera came to his side and put her hand on his arm but Janus shook his head. “No Thera, over there. None of us together, you know that.”
     “Nothing but a minor energy signal. Are you sure it’s even active?”
     “It’s floating three inches off the God damned floor Ian, of course it’s active! Oh hell. All right, is everyone ready?” Four different voices called ‘check’ in order, and Janus walked up to the portal to stare through the space of the empty frame. Sinking to his knees he softly whispered, “nothing ventured nothing gained …”
     The keypad beckoned and he punched in the string code from memory, evenly tapping the numbers as the others held their breath. As soon as he entered the last number he scooted backward, rolling to the side with pistol drawn, going flat to the ground to await whatever would occur.
     The LED above the numbers winked on in a flare of ruby red. The team members took a sharp breath. Then the light blinked. Fingers tightened above triggers. And then the light blinked again. And again. Thera turned toward her lover. “What’s it doing?” She whispered.
     Janus answered, “It’s processing the code.” One blink for each number passed like a countdown, the team tensing at the final blink as though expecting an explosion. But with the seconds passing first one and then another relaxed. The blue skinned Janus frowned. When a minute had passed he pushed up and walked back to the still hanging frame. The rest of the team tensed as he crouched at the keys again. He tapped at the side of the frame, pushed it, and then swore. “Damn it. Nothing!”
     “Try it again boss?”
     Janus shook his head. “No … No Clyde, I don’t think so. Maybe it only works on one. We’ll have to look for another portal.”
     Thera got up and went to him, putting an arm around his shoulders. “Don’t fret honey. Things happen how they’re supposed to. We’ll figure these out eventually.”
     The team picked themselves up, shrugging off the tension as Thera led Janus away. He took one last longing look back at the portal before shrugging. The medic passed the troll and stopped beside the hacker, who was concentrating on his portable terminal and scratching his chin. “Come on Ian, you gonna pack it in or what?”
     “I don’t get it Gabe. I thought it was going to open.”
     The medic looked at the portal and then back down, frowning. “Why do you say that?”
     Ian shook his head and powered his unit down. “Because the port gave a voltage spike right when that light stopped blinking. And then nothing.”
     “Oh? Hmmm.” He waited till the other man sealed his comp case and rose. Shrugging it off, he answered, “Oh well. Just as well; I heard some of those go to dead worlds anyway.”
     “Yes,” Ian answered. “Sure is anticlimactic though.”